Friends, family, loyal blog readers or people that just happened to happen by…
I have recently come out on the other side of what has been a rather challenging several months and it, as well as life, has caught up to me and now I’m happy to report that instead of running from the inevitable, which is ME, I am STOPPING to take care of myself. So, what does this mean? It means I am going to be gone for a little while. Worry not, I’m going to be coming back better and stronger than ever. Nobody said life would be easy, just ask my mom, I believe that is a direct quote…
Being away, for anyone who knows me at all, or who has ever known me, is not my strongest point because for some unknown reason I get this ridiculous anxiety when I’m out of my comfort zone, a little something-something I like to call homesick, a little something-something my friend who relates calls agoraphobia. Right Kelli? So, it won’t be the easiest thing for me, but it will be the BEST thing for me. Homesick is a very frustrating problem to have when you also have a love of travel, when you want to experience different cultures, different ways of life, a desire to explore the world. A very real and debilitating fear of travel is never good for someone who loves to adventure. This ‘homesick’ has definitely gotten in the way over the years.
Speaking of adventure, that is what I am trying to think about this time as. I’ve had a full life. I’ve had plenty of adventures. I grew up in Eglon for God’s sake. I grew up bucking hay and driving tractors. I helped build a house for a family in need in Mexico. I explored castle’s in Luxemberg, kissed a tall, dark and handsome stranger in front of a pier in Belgium without being able to communicate because we didn’t speak the same language. I sailed through the Bay of Biscay during a storm. I hiked a volcano on the island of Tenerife and went midnight body surfing on a secluded beach with nothing but a bonfire to light the night and my shipmates from the M/V Anastasis and the sound of the ocean lapping against the shore to keep me company. I’ve sailed on the Atlantic and Pacific oceans. I’ve been lost in West Africa, danced in the middle of the street surrounded by traditional drums in an African tradition called Dununba (check out the youtube video) (and for the record everyone got a kick out of the running man, I busted it out) had guns pointed at my head, been bit by acid bugs. I’ve seen snow in July in Alaska’s tundra, worked 20 hour days getting covered in fish guts and had opportunity to see the midnight sun. I have pushed my body to the limits, cut weight in an un-airconditioned gym in Tokyo, Japan, grappling and hitting mitts for hours after days of no food or water. I went gambling and rode roller coasters in Korea after my first professional fight. I’ve explored pyramids in Mexico… I’ve had a lot of adventures. I’ve gotten to do a lot of things. I’ve been blessed with a full life. I’ve been encouraged and uplifted and I’ve been hurt and torn down. Life is in and of itself an adventure and for much of it this past decade I have simply been going through the motions, numb. It is what it is…I am a self medicator. When the going gets rough, I get numb. Depression and substance abuse are my biggest foes…but I’m pretty badass, pretty resilient, and I think I’m a good opponent for them both. This adventure may just be the one that saves my life and gives me the opportunity to have more.
Thanks to everyone that has ever loved me and supported me along the way, the friends who have watched me struggle but never stopped caring, my awesome therapist who knows way more about Emma Bush than anyone would ever want to (everyone should go to therapy, FYI, that’s your Emma words of wisdom for the day), and my family for always being there. You are all so special and amazing and I am so lucky for your influence in my life. I’ll be in touch. 
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