The most recent hike I’ve ventured upon was Heather Lake, a short drive beyond Granite Falls out by Verlot.  Galen and I had actually set out to hike Mt. Pilchuck but somehow we happened across the wrong trail…in the end?  The wrong trail was a pleasant surprise.

Heather Lake is labeled ‘moderate’ in difficulty level but I’d be lying if I didn’t say the up and up and up of it, ankle-twisting-rocky-root-rough-and-tumble-stream-snow-covered path could have earned it a ‘difficult.’  The last mile of it was snow…and what started out as inches of it turned into feet, as in a good eight or nine feet of snow.  There were a few times where if you weren’t careful you would fall into it.  I did hit a hole with my right foot and fell up to my hips in snow…

MUSIC and NATURE = AWESOME

Stream crossing the trail

The hike was worth the reward.  The trail ends at Heather lake, surrounded by snow covered peaks.  In a word?  Beautiful.

The lake.

Surrounded by peaks on all sides

Benind Galen is the lake...FROZEN and covered by snow

I have been sober for ninety days today!  Ninety days ago I reached the lowest point in my life.  It was a moment for sure.  I won’t lie.  I laugh when I tell the story about that night.  Not because hitting my version of rock bottom is funny but…because I was a flipping mess and apparently while being a mess I can be pretty quirky.  It was a HORRIBLE NIGHT.  But someday I hope anyone who had the misfortune to be there with me will laugh with me about it.  Let’s go out for coffee and laugh!  I’m serious people, when I say it was a moment…I was more or less off my rocker, throwing out knuckles (as in, high five, fist bump style) in between laughing and crying, spilling my deepest darkest secrets with anyone that would listen meanwhile telling everyone I would be fine because God has a plan.

But, what’s a little nervous breakdown in the scheme of things?  For me it was the greatest turning point of my adult life.  It was the disaster that was years in the making.  It was the boiling point that initiated change.  And change, although scary as hell, was necessary.  And, change has me here, on this misty Sunday spring morning, birds chirping and flowers blooming, enjoying a cup of coffee in my comfortable living room, HAPPY and patting myself on my back for reaching 90 days of sobriety.

Happy.  I’m happy, you guys.  It feels good.

Thank you to everyone who is unashamed to be open with their faults and struggles because you have encouraged me to do the same and I am no longer embarrassed of the things that have held me back…In fact, I’m proud of the battles I’ve had to fight because they are giving me the opportunity to experience success by overcoming them.  Nobody should be ashamed of the things they struggle with.  Shame is where we hide, its where we collect secrets and practice the art of false fronted appearances and insincerity.  Life is too short to be fake.  Thank you to everyone that has been real, because you have encouraged me to be real, and in doing so I’m able to experience life.

Here is my next fitness venture.  I am going to begin and FINISH (finish being the operative word) the Insanity Workout.  Sixty days of grueling fitness torture.  Dah dah daaaahhhhhh.  And like all good fitness ventures I’m going to post my before pics so that when I post my after pics we can all oooh and ahhhh and the amazing transformation, hypothetically and hopefully. 

Here’s a little video on what I will be doing:

And here are my before pics.  I tried to look sort of solemn.  Its the before-picture formula.  You  have to look melancholy and downtrodden and happy and content in the after shots so that if anything it looks that you are at least happy with the results.

OK, sort of a smile. I work hard for that bicep, I earned a little smile

Before Side

Before Front

Since when do I, Emma Kristine Bush (yes, middle name…I threw it in there for effect) have a loss for words?

Apparently recently.

Galen pointed out to me yesterday that, after visiting my blog, I hadn’t written anything recently.  Well, would you look at that?  It’s true.  He asked why and I stated a simple lack of inspiration and am now going to FORCE some.  Do I have anything to blog about?  No, not really…but, as is a skill I take great pride in, I’m good at talking about nothing.  So, with that, I’m going to fill this blog up with random little do dads.  Just roll with it people.  I am…you can too. 

My new favorite song:  NOT my new favorite music video, you sort of have to bare through the video…but the song is pretty awesome.  Old.  But newly discovered by yours truly.  Please enjoy.

What else is new?  Hmmm….I’m working DAYS now.  In Seattle.  Yes, I said days…after almost 9 years of working nights, I switched over to the land of the living.  OH MY GOD!  I can’t even begin to tell you how great it is to be working during the day and sleeping during the night…did you hear that?  SLEEPING DURING THE NIGHT?  LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING??!!!  It.  Is.  Amazing.

What else is new?  I hiked the Lime Kiln Trail the other day.  I consider it the tamer sister of the Old Robe Trail that is so far my favorite Pacific Northwest Hike, rounding through the Robe Canyon and cutting through long abandoned railroad tunnels…Lime Kiln was an easy hike, it had some beautiful cutaways along the Robe Canyon, and there is the rustic Lime Kiln that you pass by.  Lime Kiln.  I googled it trying to figure out how the railroad used it and perhaps I got quickly disenchanted with the search but I basically learned absolutely nothing.  Regardless, if you want to see a lime kiln, hit the trail in Granite Falls and you will find it approximately 2.2 miles from the trailhead.

Lime Kiln

My choice of descriptive words on this video?  Amazing.

Friends.  I love pop n’ lock.  I love all things boogaloo and robot and Michael Jackson meets Madd Chadd.  That is why I’m begging you, PLEASE watch this video.  This guy is my dancing role model.  I’m at home practicing.  I’ll get it!!  I’m getting there!!!  Someday I’ll put a video up of me busting it with tick-tock, pop then lock precision.  In the meantime, I’m just taking notes.  Please enjoy!

Come on folks, THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF CREEPY

Ok, Mr. Rogers creeps me out…on several levels.  ONE:  He was just creepy.  TWO:  He hangs out with muppets and muppets are…SCARY.  Yes, I still have an irrational fear of muppets, don’t knock it.  They creep me out.  BUT, despite the fact that Mr. Rogers is pretty darn disturbing, I have to give him credit for such a catchy little tune that on days when the sun is shining, such as today, I catch myself singing.

Everyone that shares the Pacific Northwest with me, get outside and enjoy the sunshine, I don’t think its expected to last.  We have to take advantage of every beautiful day we have in our neighborhood!  I love the sunshine, God knows it, but personally I’m crossing my fingers for ONE LAST shut-the-city-down snow before spring arrives. 

Friends, family, loyal blog readers or people that just happened to happen by…

I have recently come out on the other side of what has been a rather challenging several months and it, as well as life, has caught up to me and now I’m happy to report that instead of running from the inevitable, which is ME, I am STOPPING to take care of myself.  So, what does this mean?  It means I am going to be gone for a little while.  Worry not, I’m going to be coming back better and stronger than ever.  Nobody said life would be easy, just ask my mom, I believe that is a direct quote…

Being away, for anyone who knows me at all, or who has ever known me, is not my strongest point because for some unknown reason I get this ridiculous anxiety when I’m out of my comfort zone, a little something-something I like to call homesick, a little something-something my friend who relates calls agoraphobia.  Right Kelli?  So, it won’t be the easiest thing for me, but it will be the BEST thing for me.  Homesick is a very frustrating problem to have when you also have a love of travel, when you want to experience different cultures, different ways of life, a desire to explore the world.  A very real and debilitating fear of travel is never good for someone who loves to adventure.  This ‘homesick’ has definitely gotten in the way over the years.

Speaking of adventure, that is what I am trying to think about this time as.  I’ve had a full life.  I’ve had plenty of adventures.  I grew up in Eglon for God’s sake.  I grew up bucking hay and driving tractors.  I helped build a house for a family in need in Mexico.  I explored castle’s in Luxemberg, kissed a tall, dark and handsome stranger in front of a pier in Belgium without being able to communicate because we didn’t speak the same language.  I sailed through the Bay of Biscay during a storm.  I hiked a volcano on the island of Tenerife and went midnight body surfing on a secluded beach with nothing but a bonfire to light the night and my shipmates from the M/V Anastasis and the sound of the ocean lapping against the shore to keep me company.  I’ve sailed on the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.  I’ve been lost in West Africa, danced in the middle of the street surrounded by traditional drums in an African tradition called Dununba (check out the youtube video)  (and for the record everyone got a kick out of the running man, I busted it out) had guns pointed at my head, been bit by acid bugs.  I’ve seen snow in July in Alaska’s tundra, worked 20 hour days getting covered in fish guts and had opportunity to see the midnight sun.  I have pushed my body to the limits, cut weight in an un-airconditioned gym in Tokyo, Japan, grappling and hitting mitts for hours after days of no food or water.  I went gambling and rode roller coasters in Korea after my first professional fight.  I’ve explored pyramids in Mexico…  I’ve had a lot of adventures.  I’ve gotten to do a lot of things.  I’ve been blessed with a full life.  I’ve been encouraged and uplifted and I’ve been hurt and torn down.  Life is in and of itself an adventure and for much of it this past decade I have simply been going through the motions, numb.  It is what it is…I am a self medicator.  When the going gets rough, I get numb.  Depression and substance abuse are my biggest foes…but I’m pretty badass, pretty resilient, and I think I’m a good opponent for them both.  This adventure may just be the one that saves my life and gives me the opportunity to have more.

Thanks to everyone that has ever loved me and supported me along the way, the friends who have watched me struggle but never stopped caring, my awesome therapist who knows way more about Emma Bush than anyone would ever want to (everyone should go to therapy, FYI, that’s your Emma words of wisdom for the day), and my family for always being there.  You are all so special and amazing and I am so lucky for your influence in my life.  I’ll be in touch. 

Let me tell you all a little bit about having a breakdown, an unfortunately public one in front of people you know.  It is, yeah, pretty embarrassing, very humbling and….well….long overdue.  You can only run from your life and yourself for so long before it catches up with you.  It caught up with me.  So sue me.  I’m human.  Hope everyone is having a good day, sorry for being a pain in everyone’s ass and thanks for loving and caring about me.  More from me soon.  I’m still keeping on.  Knuckles.

You know, at the end of the day, I’m just being honest and it is SUCH A RELIEF to be honest.  And, at the end of the day, I love everyone so much, you are all so dear to me, all my friends, my coworkers, my family, my school mates, the people that have been an influence along the way, my twitter friends, my Eglon family, my friends from the ship.  Love you all.  Thanks for being a part of my journey.

Hello everybody, I know I’m on a little vacation from my blog here but I happened across something a little comical that I want to share.  It may not be very comical to you but it makes me laugh.

….This is a little look into memory lane.  Looking back at where I was when I was 18.  My parents bought me a camcorder and for anyone who knows me now, or knew me then, that was danger waiting to happen because for some reason I have a compulsion to record and chronicle and document things as they happen. So on this day back in 1997 I took that badboy camcorder and I took it on a tour of my room.  Of my space.  The place that I set up, and designed and created. I haven’t changed much.  Just a chonricler.  A documenter.  I still have that picture hanging ABOVE MY COMPUTER AS WE SPEAK, the one I drew in high school back in the day, and its funny because the whole concept of it reminds me a lot of the first tattoo I got.  Just people and places and things working together.  Funny when you find a theme that has been there the whole time that you just didn’t stop long enough to notice.  I do not, however, have the tire man any more, and I’m sad because I LOVED the tire man.  HA!  And my great grandma Emma’s picture of Jesus is not in my hands.  Consistency is a funny thing.

So just a thought, if you haven’t done it yet.  Anyone out there have certain things that no matter how many times you moved, they moved with you?  A picture, a painting?  A journal?  Something YOU.  I DARE YOU to take it out of the closet today, and look at it and remind yourself what it was about it that made it so important to you.  The who, the why, the where, the memory.  Its just a dare.  You don’t have to do it.  But IF YOU DO….hook me up with knuckles next time I see you.  If you have my number…PLEASE, send me a picture of it and share something about it.  It would make my day.  Have a good day all.

Taking a break from the blog for a bit.  Knuckles.