A month ago my home was broken into and robbed.
Assholes came into my home, uninvited, and went through my things while I wasn’t there, shuffled through my belongings, my life, my stuff, my safe spot, and they took from me like it was a game, a joke, something funny. I was left to feel the fool. I’d been had.
I felt so violated.
Dear Jane Doe. I am so sorry these things happened to you. I am sorry that peers, boys you would hope would have expected to protect you chose to instead violate you and laugh about it. All while you were were “not home” and “unconscious.”
I would think they would protect you.
I would want them to protect you.
I’d like to say that, my son, my son would would have stood up and done something to help you.
There is such a HUGE PROBLEM in our world that the adults meant to protect you downplay and belittle your experience with such heartless and ignorant words as Man O War, the schools web administrator’s “enough with the hyperbole, how can she be “scarred for life” if she supposedly can’t remember anything?” …Are we really that heartless as a society?
Something is wrong…
I was at work last year when a coworker was watching the news and said, “What’s rape anymore? You can’t stick your finger in someone without it being rape.” THIS IS NOT OK. Jane Doe. I work on an ambulance. These are the men that come with lights and sirens to help you… IT IS NOT OK.
Jane Doe. I do not know you. You are sixteen, I am 34. You are in Ohio and I’m in Washington State. But Jane Doe, I am with you. You are not alone. You are stronger than you know. Right now you are Jane Doe to the world, some day you will stand up and be a proud YOU in front of the world and you will have an entire country behind you, supporting you. You are not alone. What happened to you was wrong and horrible, that it has been dismissed or belittled is an outrage, that these boys can make such adult decisions and then get tried as juveniles? Its unacceptable.
I hope that every last hand that touched your body that night and every person that did not do something to intervene and help is SHAMED AND EXPOSED. THEY are the ones that need to feel violated and exposed, Jane Doe, not you. Expose THEM. To those that were there or that chose to turn a blind eye, that is cowardice that I quite proudly know I do not have in me. I look down at your pathetic-ness, and extend my hand to you, its not too late to redeem yourself. Do what’s right. Not what’s easy.
And to everyone who says, “Well my son would never do something like that,” take a look at the society we are raising our children in, where you can buy coffee from bikini baristas, women wearing nothing more than tassels from their breasts, and then later you can go catch the lingerie football game and watch women tackle one another in their underwear because for some reason when men tackle one another they need protective clothing but when women do, all they need is underwear. Where our sons are playing video games like Grand Theft Auto and getting awarded points for buying and killing prostitutes. Music. Lyrics. What is he saying? What am I singing along to?
Jane Doe. You are not alone. I am with you, women nationwide are holding hands in solidarity to support you. Women who have felt your shame and who have shared your fear and who have experienced your trauma. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Quite frankly you are a badass survivor, and I wish I could hug you. I am sorry this happened to you. I am with you. I support you. You are not alone.
To those who think that giving such unsavory things attention is counterproductive, GROW UP. Be OUTRAGED. Ignoring the cancer doesn’t make it go away.
My heart is is with you.
PS- A note to parents in Steubenville, Ohio: I’ve heard through the grapevine that you feel like you are being attacked. You are NOT! You did nothing wrong. I’ve heard through the grapevine that you feel like you are being blamed! You are not! You were not there! Parents of boys and girls alike in Steubenville, Ohio, rape is NOT COOL. It is NOT FUNNY. You know this. You know that it is not something to blow over or forget about. Its something that needs to be spotlighted and evaluated. Why did they believe that it was OK to do these things? I do not know? Why is it funny to carry a “dead girl” around from party to party? I don’t know…Because its not funny. Maybe you should ask them, if they thought it was funny, or if they didn’t. If they saw it, how that made them feel, how they reacted and why did they do nothing? AND WHAT CAN THEY DO NOW? Society shames us into believing that if its not pretty its not cool. I disagree. If its not pretty its most likely REAL. And REAL IS TRUTH, and just like my homeboy Jesus once said, THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.